Is it important to maintain a healthy and happy relationship with your significant other. Dr. Seth J. Gilihan, Ph.D. shares his thoughts on "8 ways Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help improve our relationships".
So many of the people I treat in my practice come to therapy because their relationships are suffering, and so they are suffering. It could be a teenage boy whose severe social anxiety prevents him from spending time with friends, a woman with depression that makes it hard to be the partner she wants to be, a father whose expressions of anger have put distance between him and his kids, or a college student whose alcohol-fueled behavior has alienated her friends. It's hard for our relationships to thrive when we're hurting.
Effective therapy can improve our relationships, whether or not those relationships are the specific target of the treatment. A relatively brief course of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)—which has been tested more than any other treatment—can lead to marked benefits not only for the person in therapy but for those close to him or her. Some of the major relationship benefits include:
1. Greater presence. It's hard to overstate the importance of our presence in a relationship, since we can't truly "relate" to someone who's not there. One of the biggest complaints about partners that I hear in my practice is that "s/he isn't there for me." Sometimes the person means quite literally that their partner is absent—always traveling for work, for example. Just as often the problem is that even when the person is there in body, his or her mind is elsewhere.
Mindfulness-based CBT can address both of these issues; for example, training in mindfulness has been shown in multiple studies to increase one's ability to attend to the person we're with. A CBT framework can help translate one's intention to be present into a plan of action to make it happen.
Try it: The next time your partner talks with you about something, bring your full attention to what they're saying. Practice seeing the person as though for the first time, really focusing on them and what they're saying.
2. Less anxiety. When we're overwhelmed by anxiety, we're not our best selves. It's no surprise that untreated anxiety disorders take a toll on our closest relationships. For example, the need for a "safety companion" in panic disorder and agoraphobia can lead to strain as the supporting partner has to adjust his or her schedule to accommodate the other person's travels. Similarly the chronic worry in generalized anxiety disorder frequently leads to tension and irritability, causing conflict between partners.
For any anxiety diagnosis, the treatments with the most evidence for their effectiveness come from CBT. The relief a person feels from a marked reduction in anxiety extends to greater harmony in the relationship.
Try it: If you've struggled with uncontrollable anxiety, consider looking into the best treatments for your condition on the website for Division 12 of the American Psychological Association. You might also pursue self-guided CBT, which has been shown to be effective.
3. Improved mood. As with anxiety, untreated depression wears on couples. It's a struggle to be the partner we're capable of being when we have no energy, little enthusiasm for activities we would normally enjoy, and no sex drive, among other symptoms. After a typical course of CBT for depression—12 to 16 weeks—the average person will not only feel substantially better but will be able to function much more effectively. And happier individuals make happier couples
Please see the link below to view the original article:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-act-be/201703/8-ways-cbt-can-improve-your-relationship