"Do you ever find yourself picking apart your image in the mirror or fixating on your self-perceived “flaws?” Do you have a difficult time letting go of mistakes from the past? Have you ever chosen to stay in a toxic relationship for fear of being alone or not finding someone who will treat you better?
We all struggle with self-esteem and confidence issues from time to time. For some of us, quieting the negative self-talk ringing in our ears is more of a challenge than for others. Thankfully, building self-esteem is a completely feasible task when using the right tools. With International Boost Self-Esteem Month in February, now is the ideal time to start implementing effective strategies that can teach you how to be kinder to yourself.
- Engage in positive self-affirmations. Get into the habit of beginning your day by saying something nice about yourself or noting one of your recent accomplishments. This statement of positive self-regard can range from what you like about your physical appearance, personality or achievements or a motivational quote that speaks to you. Repeat this out loud or write it down in your journal and return to this statement throughout the day. Some people also find it helpful to set phone reminders with their affirmations as little pick-me-ups throughout their day or week.
- Exercise self-compassion. Why make your life harder by beating yourself up or reliving past mistakes? A little bit of self-compassion goes a long way. If you’re having a rough time, try to treat yourself with the same high regard you would direct towards a beloved friend. You wouldn’t call them stupid or ugly when they’re feeling down, would you? You can also target your negative self-talk by listing the insults or criticisms you tell yourself and responding to each statement with a positive reframe. For example, “I’m always late to work and therefore I’m a bad employee” can be transformed into “I have difficulty arriving on time but I also have other qualities that make me valuable to my workplace.”
- Start a passion project. Sometimes we lose ourselves in the hustle and bustle of day-to-day life. If you start to feel disconnected or stuck, it may be a good idea to embark on a “passion project” of your choosing. This may be starting a new hobby, activity, or workout routine. Setting your own goals and working towards them can be a fulfilling self-esteem building exercise, whether that means getting into boxing for the first time or picking up that set of paint and brushes you haven’t used for years. Remember to celebrate the incremental achievements you make along the way. If you’re having trouble deciding what your passion project will be, create a vision board or explore your options on a social media platform such as Instagram.
- Talk it out. For most of us, having a solid support system is a critical part of our own positive self-regard. What’s better than hashing out a tough day with a loved one, someone you know cares for and appreciates you? Oftentimes, love and kindness from others remind us to love ourselves. For additional support, consider seeing a professional therapist. Therapy with an esteemed, qualified therapist at Lotus Counseling Center can enable you to redirect the habits that tear down your self-esteem and encourage you to rebuild yourself anew. "